I have this quote up on my computer screen this month:
“Just because you aren’t making progress as fast as you think you should, doesn’t mean you aren’t making progress.”
I’m not sure who said it, but I thought it was so appropriate for where we all might be feeling right about now.
We are living in such unprecedented times right now, and truthfully, I found myself under a lot of pressure to over-achieve during this quarantine time. I thought it was the perfect time to dig in deep and really get stuff done. But it seemed like the harder I pushed myself, the harder it was to focus and be productive. It was so strange because I wasn’t sure what was going on with me.
I was literally feeling anxious about EVERYTHING.
And I’m not normally an anxious person at all. I am a bit type A, but I never felt anxious about anything, just driven. But this felt so different. I felt like I was pushing ahead into a huge cloud of resistance at every corner. And I kept pushing and pushing, but nothing seemed to be moving. At all!
So I made a shift. A huge shift. I got quiet with myself and started to rearrange my day in a way that flowed for me so that I could spend more time on ME instead of the things around me. I meditated more. I prayed more. I took more bubble baths. I sat on my deck and journaled more. And here’s the thing.
The more I pressed into my faith and the truth of who I am, the more the tension released. I started breathing more (thank you Apple Watch reminders to breathe). I started to walk more and just be. And as I did this I got a much better glimpse of who I am and who I was created to be from the beginning of time.
“You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord! You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place, carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something.
You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book.” Psalm 139: 13-16
I love that verse. God knows exactly who he created you and me to be, and he knew what our days were going to look like, even in this crazy time we are in right now.
I get comfort from that thought because if nothing surprises God, then nothing should surprise me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
And this time that I have spent finding ‘ME’ again, has opened up a whole new level of creativity and vision for where I want to go. So I am showing up for my life in a new way that fits me better than before. Maybe that’s why God allowed us to be shut in for a season. Let me be clear, I don’t believe he caused this mess to happen but I do believe that he is using it as a way to get our attention to what is really important right now. It’s an amazing time to be alive and to figure out what we really want to spend our time on.
And if you feel like everything has been ripped right out from under you, I get it. I do. There are a lot of people struggling right now and I don’t want to make light of that either. We’ve all been affected in one way or another. But I would challenge you that there is a purpose in everything. It’s all about progressing through it to find the truth of a matter. And truthfully, maybe it was time for a reset, for a new normal anyway.
So while I felt like I wasn’t making any progress as fast as I originally set out to do, I sit here today in amazement at how much revelation knowledge I’ve had about my path going forward.
If you’re feeling stressed or hopeless right now, I want to encourage you to look within and take time to meditate and pray, or journal, or take long walks because you deserve to live your best life. You really do. And you are making progress even when you don’t think you are as long as you don’t give up.
Never give up my friend. There is always hope and I believe in you and your destiny. Take some time to get it all mapped out. In the stillness there is always an answer.
